I GOT CAKE!!!
It wasn't the best cake ever, but it was okay cake. Fuck, any cake is better than no cake. Except grocery store birthday cake where you have to surgically excise the icing (which consists largely of Crisco and sugar) and then you don't enjoy the cake part anyway. You poke at the icing in a desultory fashion and squoosh it on your plate and try eating little bites of it, but nothing changes the fact that it is bullshit icing and is made of hydrogenated fuck-you.
Here is a picture of my cake. There is also a pear, because I fucking love pears almost as much as I love cake.
Here is a close up of the cake that I ate.
You will notice that it looks like two pieces of cake because it is. I realized this three bites into it. I took off the top piece and ate that with my hands and then saved the bottom piece for later. This was good cake. I left it on the festive paper Thanksgiving plate because I didn't feel like it deserved glass as it appeared to be bullshit cake, but it was not bullshit cake. It had nuts and raisins, and was nicely spiced...all it was missing was carrots and cream cheese frosting and then it would have been The Best Cake, but I'm not bitching. The frosting appeared to be homemade as well, as it had kind of a shitty texture, but at least it wasn't made of Crisco and hate.
UPDATE: You may have been wondering where I got cake. Well, I think this upgrades it from good cake to pretty good cake, because I did not have to leave the house. My mother brought it back from some drunken golf-lady party, and left it for me on the counter. cake - effort= pretty good cake. (but, cake^groceryStore=bull*shit)
